


Eternity

by blackfin



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Affection, Domestic, Fluff, Lovey-Dovey, M/M, Ryoma is a good boyfriend who respects Xander's boundaries, Truth Serum, Understanding, and gives him the space he needs to work out his feelings, kind of confession, not quite established relationship, truth potion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 19:21:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14858748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackfin/pseuds/blackfin
Summary: Ryoma is caught off guard when Xander starts profusely exclaiming his love for him. After Xander flees, red faced and distressed, Ryoma sets off after him, only to find a small group of mischief makers hiding around the corner. When he eavesdrops on them, he learns that a potion was slipped into his and Xander's tea, one that would force the drinker to speak nothing but the truthThe intention was to have them both confess their feelings to one another but the truth is never as simple as it seems





	Eternity

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested by an anon over on tumblr who wanted a truth potion / spell. It's not exactly what I think they wanted but ehn -shrug emoji-   
> This was actually HORRID to write. I like how it came out but GODDAMN, was it difficult to get it written. I don't even know what it was, something about this scenario just wound up being so hard to write   
> Commissions are still open   
> Check out my tumblr, blackfen, for more details

“I love you.” Xander chuckled, a warm smile on his downturned face. Wispy strands of blond hair hung in front of his eyes, giving him a softer look than Ryoma was used to. Shuffling through the reports, his gaze shifting around as he read over them, he didn’t seem to realize what he had just said. Instead, he continued on as though the previously given statement had been a comment about the weather, rather than a revelation of important, heartfelt feelings. . 

His cup of tea paused midway to his mouth, which was hanging open slightly in shock. Blinking rapidly, Ryoma waited a moment to see if the Nohrian Prince would elaborate on that out of nowhere statement but when nothing more was said, he began to wonder if he had just imagined it. In all honesty, he hadn’t been paying close attention to what Xander was saying. Rather, his thoughts were preoccupied with the stray strands of soft hair hair fluttering around Xander’s handsome face so it was likely that, perhaps, in his moment of distraction, he merely imagined hearing those words. Awkwardly clearing his throat, Ryoma set his cup back onto the table, smiled pleasantly and politely asked, “I didn’t quite catch that, Xander. Could you please-” 

That warm, peaceful gaze rose up to meet his own, sending a familiar fluttering through his chest. Tilting his head slightly, Xander widened his smile slightly and repeated in that same relaxed voice, the words ringing out clear as bells, “I said I love you.” 

Well, he definitely hadn’t misheard him. Heavy silence fell over them, slamming into his shoulders like a ten ton hammer. Someone could drop a pin in Valla and he’d be able to hear it. Blankly staring at the Nohrian Prince, heat flooding into his face, his mind was completely empty expect for a baffled conflict on whether to take this an actual confession or as an indication that Xander might be deathly ill and he needed to send for a healer right away. However, the first option quickly lost traction as, in a rapid succession, all the color drained from Xander’s face, leaving behind a pale sheet of bony white, only to be replaced by the most intense red Ryoma had ever seen. It made the hue of his armor look near baby pink in comparison. 

Eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets, Xander let out an undignified sputter, coughed hard, his entire body shuddering from the force, and, with a most severe frown on his face, said, “What I mean to say is that you are a wonderful, incredible man and I am deeply in love with you.” 

With each passing moment, he was leaning more heavily towards the Nohrian Prince being ill. He couldn’t think of any other explanation for all this. Flushed to the point that his face was practically purple, his expression one of flustered distress (which Ryoma absolutely did not think was utterly, unbearably adorable he), Xander loudly cleared his throat, straightened his shoulders, hardened his gaze and said in a cold, caustic tone, “You mean the world to me. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than by your side.” 

Slamming his hands down onto the table with enough force to send multiple scrolls rolling off to the floor, Xander abruptly stood, sweat popping up on his smooth forehead, the distressed expression no longer adorable but rather, stressing as Xander clearly reached higher and higher levels of anguish, sucked in a sharp breath then said on the even sharper exhale, “I adore you with every fiber of my being. The adulation, admiration and adoration I have for you is limitless, endless, infinite. It’s suffocating, terrifying, agonizing, yet also tranquil, warm and wondrous. Every moment I am permitted to be by your side is filled with a bliss, a happiness I never thought would be allowed to me. There has not been nor will ever be anyone I will love as much as I love you.” 

Jaw nearly on the floor, Ryoma wanted to say something to calm Xander down, out of the fear that if he kept going at this rate, he might hurt himself but no words would come out. All he could do was gawk up at the purple-faced Nohrian Prince, his hiccuping mind trying its best to make sense of these weird course of events. Several long moments of tense, heavy quiet followed, stretching out to feel like an eternity before Xander abruptly turned on his heel, blond hair swinging wildly from the force, and marched out of the room without a single look back. Mouth still hanging open, Ryoma watched him go, desperately wanting to call out but unable to make his tongue move. In one forceful motion, Xander wrenched the door open, slipped out and disappeared. 

Now relieved from the onslaught of an incredible bizarre situation, Ryoma was finally given the quiet to ask himself: what in the world was that? Logic, reason wanted an answer but there were none to be found. The explanation of illness, of a high fever or something of that sort could only be stretched so far, especially when taken into consideration with the fact that he knew Xander was no weak-minded, weak-willed man. This was a man who had kept his emotions under constant control when underneath the thumb as a cruel tyrant. He simply couldn’t believe that there was any way in all the lands that Xander would blurt out such information due to something as simple as an illness. There had to be some other explanation. And he wouldn’t figure it out by sitting around, staring at the door like a moron. 

Finally getting to his feet, Ryoma rushed out of the room before he even had the foggiest clue as to what he was actually going to do. His first instinct was to go find Xander so as to make sure he was alright but he held himself back. Right now, the Nohrian Prince most likely didn’t want to see or speak with him. Not that he could really blame him for that. Pausing outside the door, he took a moment to collect himself. Who would be best to consult about this? There was no clear answer to that since he had no clue what could be causing the odd behavior. Not to mention, this was a situation he wanted to handle delicately. Last thing he wanted to do was go around announcing that Xander had confessed to him. If that didn’t get tongues wagging unnecessarily, he didn’t know what would. That only left one real option: Kagero. She most likely wouldn’t know any more than he but two heads put together would be able to think of something. 

With that decided, he made to set off when he heard murmuring from around the corner. Coming to a stop, he trained his ears on the sound. Definitely a small group of people urgently whispering to one another. Well, wasn’t that suspicious. Sneaking forward, stealthily moving down the hallway, he was able to detect the voices as belonging to Sakura, Elise, Hinoka, Nyx and...Kagero? All were speaking in similar tones of distress, with the exception of Elise, who sounded like her usual joyful, carefree self and Nyx, who simply sounded disinterested. Creeping closer, he stopped right at the corner, pressing his back against the wall, and listened in on what they had to say. 

“I told you it wouldn’t work!” Hinoka sighed in exasperation. 

“It did work, though.” Nyx replied nonchalantly. 

“You call that working?” Kagero asked coldly, “Did you see the look on his face as he was stomping off?” 

“He told him, didn’t he?” Nyx asked, and he could practically see the eyeroll. 

“He was the only one!” Sakura cried out softly, “Why didn’t it work on both of them?” 

“Ryoma must have not drunk his tea. He does have to drink it in order for it to work.” Nyx explained carelessly. 

Hinoka heaved a heavy sigh, followed by the audible sound of her slapping her hand against her forehead, “We’ve just made things worse, haven’t we?” 

“It appears so.” Kagero answered wearily.

“Don’t give up hope!” Elise declared cheerfully, “Everything is out in the open now! Even if it was just Big Brother, Ryoma, at least, knows now! Shouldn’t that lead to something good?” 

“If he decides to act on it.” Sakura mumbled mournfully. 

“If he realizes his own true feelings.” Nyx replied coolly. 

“What do we do?” Hinoka asked. 

“Nothing.” Nyx said with an audible shrug, “We wait. We see.” 

And with that, he had heard all he needed to. It was time to stop hiding. Stepping around the corner, he put on his best stern, older brother expression as he strolled towards the small group. The majority had their backs to them so he was able to stand behind them menacingly until Sakura caught sight of him, her eyes going huge, face flushing a deep hue of red before she dropped her head. With that motion, all the others turned around to find him there. Kagero immediately straightened, a guilty expression appearing on her normally stoic face. Hinoka clapped a hand over her eyes as she sighed heavily. Elise simply giggled, looking completely unaffected by the turn of events, rocking back and forth on the heels of her boots. Nyx haughtily raised her chin to gaze up at him coolly, a mysterious smile on her face. 

Placing his hands on his hips, surveying the group, Ryoma grimly asked, “Would someone please explain to me just what is going on here?” 

“Did you drink your tea?” Nyx asked, tossing her hair over her shoulder. 

“What?” 

“Your tea.” Sakura hesitantly spoke up, sneaking forward, peeking up at him through her bangs, “Did you?” 

Sharply quirking one eyebrow, he said flatly, “Explain now.” 

Nyx sighed heavily, a bored expression on her slim face, “To put it bluntly, we put a potion in both yours and Xander’s tea. When consumed, this potion forces the drinker to tell nothing but the truth. Everything you heard back there,” she raised one finger, “was Xander’s true feelings.” 

The corner of his mouth twitched violently. Pulling in a deep breath, he squeezed his eyes closed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Well, out of all the explanations he could have come up with, this definitely would have never been one of them. He didn’t know what was more alarming: the fact that his sisters had agreed to this or the fact that he wasn’t that surprised by any of this. Enraged, certainly but surprised? No, now he was aware of their actions, it seemed exactly like something they would do. Question was, why? Their reasoning wasn’t clear at all. 

Letting his hand drop away, he settled a stern gaze on Hinoka, figuring that she’d be the one he could get the clearest answer out of, and asked, “What is the meaning of all this?” 

“It’s simple!” Elise happily exclaimed before Hinoka could respond, “You love Xander, Xander loves you but you’re both sillies with some serious issues with communicating your emotions so we figured we’d give you a hand!” Giggling, she clasped her hands behind her back, a huge smile spread across her round face, “Of course, you were both supposed to drink your tea but we got one of you, at least!” 

It wasn’t often that he lost his temper. Truth be told, that was something he tried his hardest not to do. Anger achieved absolutely nothing; it made him bullheaded, idiotic and selfish. Not to mention, he understood himself well enough to know that he had what his mother called ‘anger issues’. Once his fuse blew, he found it very hard to calm down. Even worse, he was capable of making incredibly stupid decision when he was angered so he tried his very best to not let his temper get the best of him. And it wasn’t often that it did, thankfully. However, right then, it was proving to be immensely hard to keep the fire burning a hole in his chest under control. Focusing on regulating his breathing, the heat draining from his face, spilling down into his chest and stomach in a nauseating wave, Ryoma focused an intensely icy stare on Elise, immediately wiping the smile away from her face, and asked in a deep, rumbling voice, “In all this planning, all this trickery, did you ever stop to consider how it would affect Xander and I?” 

“Big brother-” Sakura attempted to say something but Ryoma silenced her with a single glance, causing her to shuffle backwards, bowing her head once more as she went. 

“Don’t blame them.” Nyx huffed, “We were-” 

“Silence.” Ryoma snapped. To his surprise, Nyx obeyed, falling silent as she regarded him with an annoyed glare. Pulling in another deep breath, he continued, “This was not for you all to decide, nor was it something for all of you to interfere in.”

“You never would have told him!” Elise exclaimed, stamping one foot, her bottom lip stuck out in a pout. 

Ryoma regarded her coldly for a moment then seethed, “Did it ever occur to you that I was already aware of how he felt?” 

Five shocked faces gawked up at him, even Nyx looked a tad bit gobsmacked. Well, no need for any of them needed to verbally respond to that. It was quite obvious that none of them had taken that possibility into consideration. Somehow, regrettably, that only made him even more mad. Sensing that he was entering a dangerous zone, Ryoma dropped his head, letting his eyes fall closed as he breathed in deeply, focusing on a deep point within the inner realm of his mind. Everything else fell away as he allowed himself nothing else but a intense fixation on that one point, that one thought. Slowly, the anger drained away, leaving behind only an unpleasant taste in his mouth. Once he was certain that he was no longer on the edge of losing his temper, Ryoma opened his eyes, scrubbed his face with one hand and said, “I understand that all of you were simply trying to help. It was a misguided attempt but still one done out of concern and love. I cannot now nor ever say I appreciate your actions, and I will expect you all to apologize to Xander once I fix this catastrophe.”

“I don’t get it!” Elise exclaimed, “If you already knew, then-”

“Part of being an adult,” Ryoma sternly interrupted her, “is understanding that others deserve the respect and space to work out their own emotions. The feelings we have for one another is something we’ve both been aware of for a while but Xander was not ready to tell me, nor was he ready to hear it from me. It would have been cruel of me to try to force a relationship he was not ready for. Make no mistake, I love him. I love him dearly, and that is why I was giving him the time and space he needed to come to terms with his feelings for me. I know he loves me, just as he knows I love him. Because of that, I am more than willing to wait until he is comfortable expressing that love. I can only hope that your childish stunt has not damaged what progress Xander has made.” 

A tense moment of silence followed then Sakura began to sniffle quietly, turning her head away in what she probably thought was a sneaky motion to wipe away tears. Sighing heavily, his shoulders slumping, Ryoma reached over to gently pat her head. It didn’t matter how angry he became, he could never remain stern when his beloved little sister was in tears. A tiny hand grabbed hold of his sleeve as she hiccuped quietly, “I-I-I’m s-s-sorry, b-b-big brother.” 

“Please forgive me, Master Ryoma.” Kagero said seriously, bowing low, her head nearly touching the floor. 

“I’m sorry, Ryoma.” Hinoka declared, holding her head up high, her strong, clear gaze indicating she was ready to face the consequences of her actions. 

Meekly playing with a ringlet of hair, Elise mimicked Hinoka in holding her head high, but one look into her eyes told him that she wished she could lower it like Sakura. Tears swelled up in the corners of her eyes as she sniffled, “I’m sorry, Ryoma. I made a huge mistake! I was a big stupid idiot!” 

“Forgive me.” Nyx said softly, “I made an assumption about a situation I knew nothing about and inferred how you two should act based on my own flawed views. It is a mistake I will not make again.” 

“Apology accepted.” Ryoma patted Sakura’s head again, then pulled out a handkerchief from one of his pockets. Leaning down, he gently wiped away the tears from Sakura’s cheeks, offering a small smile when she finally looked up at him. She returned it with a trembling, shaky one of her own, using the heel of her hand to wipe away the fresh tears from her eyes. Giving her head one final pat, Ryoma sighed, gave his head a slight shake as he tucked the handkerchief away and said, “Please go get rid of that other cup of tea. And if you any more of that potion left, throw it away. I’m going to go find Xander.” 

“I think he headed back to his private quarters.” Nyx piped up as he turned to walk away. 

It took a lot of willpower to not simply bolt upstairs to where Xander’s bedroom was located. Dashing through the halls of the castle was one surefire way to start a panic. That was the opposite of what he needed right now. His nerves were still frazzled from the whole event, which only made it that much harder to think on how he should handle what came next. Xander wasn’t a weak-willed man but this was something Ryoma knew he wasn’t ready for yet. A lifetime of abuse, of being underneath a tyrant’s thumb, of being forced into the role of a heartless killing machine hadn’t exactly given rise to someone in touch with their emotions. If anything, what that life had created was a man terrified of letting anyone in, of letting anyone see him open and vulnerable. That put him in the delicate, difficult position of trying to figure out how to approach this development. Striding up the stairs, taking them two at a time, he figured it might be best to see what kind of state Xander was in before deciding how to move forward. Yes, that seemed like the best course of action. While it did leave him walking in without a plan, it did, at least, give him the breathing room to react as necessary. 

Stopping in front of the door to Xander’s quarters, Ryoma took a deep breath, steadied himself, rolling his shoulders in preparation for whatever was to come then knocked, “Xander, it is I. May I come in?” 

There was an extended moment of quiet then the door slowly opened. Internally sighing in relief that Xander had even let him in, Ryoma slid into the room, firmly shutting the door behind him. In the corner, the window’s curtains were drawn back, letting in a generous amount of sunlight. Standing in the middle of the room, watching him with a guarded expression that made his heart ache, Xander idly nursed a cup of tea. Keeping his distance, despite the tremendous desire to surge forward so he could embrace the Nohrian Prince, Ryoma offered a small smile and said, “Our siblings have gotten up to some mischief.” 

“Oh?” 

Sighing, Ryoma crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head to the side slightly, “Elise, Sakura and Hinoka, along with Nyx and Kagero, unbelievably. They put a potion into our tea that forces the drinker to speak nothing but the truth.” 

“Why?” Xander asked shortly, his brows lowering, a spark of anger appearing in his dark eyes. 

“They thought they were helping.” Ryoma responded, strolling over to a nearby chair. Plopping down, he crossed his legs, brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face and sighed once more, “Apparently, they got it into their heads that they knew best when it came to our relationship, and acted according to what they thought we needed.” 

“I trust you scolded them for such deviant actions?” Xander asked coldly, setting aside his tea and pushing it away with one finger as though it too were contaminated. 

“Indeed.” He replied with a firm nod. Turning away, he stared thoughtfully into space for a moment then commented, “I came very close to losing my temper. That hasn’t happened in a very long while.” 

“Am I going to have to guard my tea at all times now?” Xander inquired dryly, quirking one eyebrow. 

Chuckling, Ryoma responded, “No, it will be fine. Rest assured, they’ve seen the errors of their ways. There will be so such shenanigans in the future.” 

Comforted by how easily the conversation was flowing, Ryoma hesitated for just a moment, distantly wondering if it was truly alright for him to be voicing such a question at this point then sighed, stood and strolled over to stand beside Xander. Resting his hip against the table, he studied Xander’s features for a moment, slowly reached forward to place a hand on Xander’s arm, then asked softly, “Are you alright?” 

“I don’t know.” Xander answered honestly, covering the back of Ryoma’s hand with his own, sending a shockwave of pleasant tingles up his arm and a wave of relief flooding through his chest, “I am uncertain how I feel right now.” 

“That’s alright.” Ryoma reassured him, resisting the urge to step closer, to cup his pale, porcelain cheek in the curve of his palm, to gently pull him into a sweet embrace, close enough that he could finally kiss those firm, perfect lips, “Take-” 

“Those words...I meant them.” Xander interrupted him, keeping his gaze pointed downwards, the tips of his ears peeking out through thick strands of blond hair turning an adorable shade of pink, “I meant all of them. I just want you to know that.” 

Startled, Ryoma opened his mouth to respond, to tell Xander that he knew, he knew they were all true, he knew how he felt about him but before the words could get out, Xander settled a conflicted, pained gaze on him, immediately constricting his throat and chest. The words fell away, burning into husks as his mouth clattered shut. Before he could think about what he was doing, he gave his arm a comforting squeeze, and stepped forward, closer to Xander. To his relief, Xander didn’t move away but rather, leaned into him, a soft sigh slipping through his lips as they brushed against one another. Very lightly resting a hand on the side of Xander’s head, he began to gently stroke the silky strands, adoring the sensation of the hair sliding between his fingers. Xander continued to look downwards, the pain laced through his features steadily slipping away as he seemed to melt into Ryoma’s touch. Keeping himself in check, knowing that going any further than this might ruin the moment, he simply allowed himself to enjoy the beautiful sight before him: Xander with his eyes slowly closing, looking almost like a cat stretched out in the sunlight, getting his head pet by his favorite human, all traces of conflict fading away into an afterthought. 

“I can’t-” Xander suddenly spoke up softly, his eyes still closed. Setting his lips into a firm thin, he appeared to think on what he wanted to say for a few moments before finally raising his head, opening his eyes to settle a hesitant gaze on Ryoma, “Right now, I can’t offer any more than this.” 

“That’s alright.” Ryoma smiled, idly thinking that Xander really, truly was incredibly adorable and was more than a little pleased that he was, most likely, the only one who got to see him like this, “More than anything else, I want you to be happy and unworried. If this is all you’re comfortable with, than this is all it shall be.” 

“Even if it never moves beyond this?” Xander asked quietly, quirking one eyebrow, his cheeks tinted a dusky pink. 

“Yes, even then.” Leaning forward, he gently bumped their foreheads together, sighing contentedly when he felt Xander’s arms loosely wrap around his waist, not tugging him closer but, rather, holding him in place, “Simply being with you, allowed to stand by your side, allowed to touch you like this is more than enough for me.” 

“You want nothing more than this?” 

Ryoma snorted softly before admitting, “I do but only if you are offering it because you want it as well, not because of some potion or because you feel you’re force to.” 

“I do…” Xander mumbled, the pink in his cheeks deepening to a tomato red, “I do want to but right now, I just-I-” 

“Shhh,” Ryoma cooed soothingly, placing a kiss on his temple, “I know. It’s alright. Take the time you need, Xander. I will be right here, ever by your side.”

Xander chuckled bemusedly, slowly shaking his head, “You’re far too good a man for me, Ryoma.” 

“Hush.” Ryoma instructed sternly, giving the center of his forehead a gentle flick, “I don’t want to hear such nonsense.” 

Snorting underneath his breath, Xander leaned forward, resting his forehead onto Ryoma’s shoulder. Warm puffs of air brushed along his skin, sending up a wave of goosebumps. Lightly stroking the back of his head, the tips of his fingers finding a small scar just at the base of his skull, Ryoma idly made a mental note to start hammering all Xander’s positive, incredible traits into his head. Just saying that he didn’t want to hear those kinds of things again wasn’t enough; he needed to ensure that Xander never thought that way as well. It would take a while but he was confident he could easily show Xander the light, the good in him. After all, anyone could see what an incredible strong, loyal, selfless, kind man he was. Well, anyone but Xander, it would seem. He must make certain to fix that. 

“Let's not mention this to our siblings.” Xander spoke up, his voice muffled. 

Ryoma nodded in agreement, a slight flash of annoyance rippling through his chest at the thought that all this transpired because someone got it into their head to force a confession out of them, “I think that is for the best.” 

They fell into a comfortable silence, wrapped up in each other’s arms, enjoying each other’s warmth when Xander spoke up once again, “Stay with me for a while?” 

“Of course,” Ryoma smiled happily, “there isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be.” 

Regrettably pulling away, his face still flushed, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, Xander said softly, “I feel the same. Shall we try to finish our tea?” 

Crossing his arms over his chest, feeling as though he was grinning like an idiot, wishing that there was some way he could capture the look on Xander’s face so that he could treasure it for years to come, Ryoma nodded, “Yes, that sounds good.” 

As Xander set about making a fresh pot of tea, Ryoma returned back to the seat he’d previously taken, flopped down and let his eyes roam over the expanse of Xander’s muscular back as he went through the motions of getting everything ready. Eternity, that was how long he’d be willing to wait. No, beyond that, far into the reaches of when time stopped completely. If that was how long it’d take, he’d happily, compliantly wait. There was no need to rush or force it. A whole lifetime was spread out in front of him, days after days in which he’d spend with his most beloved, his wonderful Xander. Wasn’t that enough to be grateful for? Of course, he longed for more, he hoped there might someday be more but it could wait. 

It could wait an eternity if need be.


End file.
